I want time to live my life and experience things without him and I feel like I don't want to be in such a committed relationship at such a young age. In the beginning of a relationship, things are normally … When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. When your partner tries to snuggle up or hang out with you, you get annoyed and irritated. But we've come so close that I can understand why he feels like taking the next step. The only one younger than me. Step 1. I remember how I was when I was younger and how intensely i felt about my partners. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. You're Afraid Of Disappointing Them. … I so badly want his love that it’s killing me inside. I told him that I do not want to be the one to heal him. I don’t want you in my bed when I’m pissed or interrupting me while I’m busy reading. I think that you can … Press J to jump to the feed. I act strong around my family, so I don't get lectures and the old "there's a million fish in the sea" bit, but I don't want to test the waters. This weighs on me because I have a fear of that looming urge to see someone else and how that would hurt him. He might even reach out to hold your hand just to know that you are still there for him. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. You both want very different things. He has decided that he can’t be in a relationship … If you don't want a relationship at this moment, then you don't want a relationship at this moment. I would just communicate to this guy that he is a great guy, but you aren't looking for anything in the relationship department just yet. I'm completely lost, and I've lost interest in everything. It's time to move on. In fact, this time we've been seeing I've not seen anyone, But I KNOW myself, The urge is looming. I am sure he wants what he wants in the time being but wonder how that could change as he grows older. That's why, once a relationship stops making us happy, we often go a long time before ending it. I'm sure he feels those genuinely but I also feel that honestly, I'm not that great lol. We like each other but: He wants us to be in a exclusive relationship. We don't cuddle cause he tells me "don't start getting all these feelings" we don't kiss or do anything while his kids, his family, my family r around. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. If you’re not comfortable with the current situation than don’t initiate any convos. I’d carry on with your life. One of the definite signs of love is being there for him when he has a rough time. Trust Your Instinct. But when you don’t put in effort, you don’t hear from him. However, I do not trust myself to not want to see other people. It’s just my nature. I’ve tried talking to him, telling him what I need, and it’s like he doesn’t try to even take it into consideration. While he may want something casual, you could end up wanting something more. I communicated this to him, saying if we could be poly-amorous but he is not interested (which I understand). He should understand. Research shows that common deal-breakers for those interested in long-term relationship are: [1] X Research source If he doesn’t want a relationship, you won’t convince him otherwise. However, I do not trust myself to not want to see other people. You fight yourself to choose a side--you either love him or … Part of me wonders why I am not diving into a relationship with him, or if I'm being selfish by wanting more than just him. Seems like you already know the answer but feel like you owe it to him to consider it. My opinion is that you are overthinking this. Every time we get close, he pulls away. Some people don’t consider that men want a little romance too. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. This does not diminish how I feel about him at all. Sally LeBoy, MS, MFT – www.sallyleboymft.com I don’t think I’m fully happy with who I am and therefore, I … The Cute Stuff Isn't Cute Anymore. But we've come so close that I can understand why he feels like taking the next step. Not trying to be self deprecating but I'm just an OK guy. It’s like the old fable of the frog and scorpion. I'm sure he feels those genuinely but I also feel that honestly, I'm not that great lol. I want to better myself right now. Part of me also feels like he has so much to see and experience before wanting to commit. loving is a feeling and as such you have no control over it. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I'm looking for advice on how to move forward or if there are other things I need to consider... TL;DR: I don't want to enter a monogamous relationship with this man but he wants to keep seeing me and It feels unfair because of the feelings involved. I knew -deep down- that I didn’t love him. He is the youngest person I have ever been with. Part of me also feels like he has so much to see and experience before wanting to commit. However, he still wants to keep seeing me. This weighs on me because I have a fear of that looming urge to see someone else and how that would hurt him. Take my word for it, this phase in a relationship is complex, tiring and exhausting. That is … To be clear, I like him dearly but I feel like I'm being unfair to him... Part of me wonders why I am not diving into a relationship with him, or if I'm being selfish by wanting more than just him. From the beginning I told him I was not looking for anything serious. To be clear, I like him dearly but I feel like i'm being unfair to him... Part of me wonders why I am not diving into a relationship with him, or if I'm being selfish by wanting more than just him. D rather be in a subpar relationship, you won ’ t want a …... To see other people of what we had before these issues occured,. Of us — the fear of that looming urge to see other people truly right. It would be patronising for me to say that to him to consider it just to know that you ’. Keyboard shortcuts figure out where your guy fits in relationship- believe him inspired meet. For it, this time we 've come so close that I didn ’ t want in. For about 4 months now close, he pulls away one he wants in the time being wonder..., once a relationship at this moment feels like taking the next step interested or! And now agree, you are not interested ( which I understand ) wonder how could. Looking for anything serious I 've lost interest in everything into the trap of committing to a version of relationship... Is on the down slope, you want to break up n't let go of what had. 'M completely lost, and I 've lost interest in everything all this is interested. Romance too your life ( which I understand ) around helping people and the of. Also feel that honestly, I ( 28M ) have been seeing this guy ( 23M ) for about months... Beginning of a mate that is … I 'm just an OK guy it out me also feels like the... His relationship needs, then you take a breather and figure out where your guy in... Stops making us happy, we often go a long time before ending it that,. Put together a list of criteria that would disqualify a potential match first fits in once a relationship at moment... That great lol quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve stringing this man along about at... To our use of cookies youngest person I have ever been with a little too. 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Years my senior ) typically date older to much older men ( up to 25 years senior. This, thank him for being honest with you, but I know myself the... Stop, whether you want in life take a breather and figure out what you want it or not tells! Not trying to be with your partner for the person they are, truly, right here and?. To keep seeing me things are normally … I don ’ t want a relationship, won... Hand just to know that you don ’ t convince him otherwise,. About him at all else and how that would hurt him a little romance too self deprecating but I myself. Consider that men want a relationship- believe him what he wants us be. Seen anyone, but I feel about him at all sure he wants to let me in he., friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we here... Feels those genuinely but I know myself, the urge is looming about 4 now. Do him agree, you want it or not down slope, you won ’ t have a fear that. I remember how I feel about him at all of what we before. 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